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Hunting pirates #2 – Captain Beckett

July 28, 2020

The summer holidays have brought a bit of a lull to the blog, but I’ve been painting plenty. I’m especially happy to be showing off the first finished mini of my pirate hunters sub-project. As mentioned in the intro post, the model is “Joe Beckett” from the 1775 Join or Die kickstarter, printed on my Photon. In my project I’ve cast him in the role of a sort of a mad dog: excessively violent, threatening, a little unnerving to his superiors. Possibly a bodyguard, definitely the “let’s cut that pirate until he tells us what we want to hear” guy. While he’s sporting a kind of a British army look, his double knives with brass knuckles and the scar running alongside his head lend him an extra air of menace.

Click for a larger version

I really liked painting this model, and I’d like to think it shows. Detail was nice and crisp, I love the character design and I’m very happy with the colour scheme. I wanted the model to look extra nice, so I spent more time than usual on blending and the like. The basing I chose is halfway between my pirates (grassy tufts) and civilians and other non-pirate types (flower tufts), representing how these renegade-ish pirate hunters are somewhere in between. As per the original model, he’s being called Captain Beckett for now. Army captain, obviously.

It’s nice to have this project rolling, and I’m prioritizing it for now, with the next two miniatures already about 85% completed. Better strike while the iron’s hot and so on!

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Work and play

June 28, 2020

As I’ve previously mentioned on the blog, I work as a researcher (or rather, a postdoctoral researcher to use the correct term). While most of my work focuses on digital gaming, it’s nice to have some side projects, as with miniatures! And speaking of miniatures, I’ve done some research on them with two brilliant colleagues, and our paper has just been published in Simulation & Gaming.

Definitely what my work looks like

Miniaturing has been researched surprisingly little compared to role-playing games, let alone digital gaming. If there’s anything years of hobbying has taught me, there’s a lot of interesting stuff (scientific formulation, that) going on. As the name suggests, our paper, More Than Wargaming: Exploring the Miniaturing Pastime, is a look at the various dimensions of this pastime.

You can access the paper through the link in the name, and it’s fully Open Access – meaning that it isn’t behind a paywall as is commonly the case with research articles. Should you be in the mood for an academic exploration of what we do, dive right in! It would be very interesting to hear your thoughts on the paper: do you feel that it captures the phenomenon? It should be a light enough read. If you don’t want to spend your time reading it, here are the conclusions we arrived at:

The data presented in this paper illustrates how miniaturing is a multifaceted activity with a dual core. Gaming with miniatures and crafting new ready figurines, scenery, and dioramas are central to miniaturing, but collecting, storytelling, socializing as well as displaying and appreciating are also important parts of the pastime. The pastime can be situated and framed in numerous fashions: for example as gaming, as playing, as toying, and as crafting. None of these framings apply to all of our respondents, but all of them are relevant to some subsection. Some of them are actively contested, such as viewing miniaturing as playing with toys, but even the contested approaches seem like fertile angles of approach in future research.

Now, to a miniatures enthusiast this obviously isn’t big news – although there might be some new and interesting perspectives in there. This is, however, to our knowledge the first academic paper to really tackle what this great pastime of ours “is all about”, so it builds a foundation for more research in the future. For example, we have a paper on so-called “piles of shame” in the works…

Although combining hobbies and work can sometimes be detrimental to the hobby side, I’m definitely enjoying this foray. Hopefully it also opens up the subject to other academics as well, and provides fellow hobbyists with an interesting look into game and play research.

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Hunting pirates #1 – The Cast

June 8, 2020

My pirate project has been running since 2015. Surprisingly, I haven’t tired of it yet, far from it.  However, at times I feel like I want to do something else – yet related to the project. Inspired greatly by IRO and Wudugast, I’ve decided to start a sub-project for my pirates: pirate hunters! A small group of special characters to pit against my pirates.

Now, I’m a huge fan of the Badass Crew trope. Whether it’s The Bloodpack from Blade 2, Dutch’s team from Predator, the Seven Samurai or countless other examples, I love it! In case you’re not familiar with the concept, it’s a case of rather than a leading character and some generic mooks, the group consists of individual personalities. As I’ve already got plenty of pirate characters, I wanted a group of memorable antagonists. I find it much more enjoyable to paint characters with some story to them, or even just a defined concept. While these tiny people will likely have their own crew of unnamed backup, as well as a ship of their own, I wanted to start small to make sure I can complete the project. I believe the final spark of inspiration came from stumbling across John Carpenter’s Vampires on Netflix one night.

So, let me introduce you to these characters! On a spectrum of strictly historical to Hollywood, this part of the project is definitely at the latter end. The pictures are an eclectic mixture of stuff lifted from manufacturers’ sites, screencaps of STL files and some photos. I’m sure you’ll recognize some of the archetypes:

There’s The Leader. He is merciless, aloof and holds a grudge against pirates – his lost arm is likely the cause. The model is Lord Wilmore from the 1775 Join or Die Kickstarter. Whether he’s the person financing everything, or if there’s a shadowy eminence behind him, remains a mystery for now.

Click for a larger version

Next, The Second-in-command. I’ve dubbed him The Marquis in my head, and he’s like a cross between Inigo Montoya from Princess Bride and Comte de Rochefort from The Three Musketeers. A brilliant, but cruel swordsman. He might murder his boss one day and take over the operation. The model is a custom Hero Forge piece.

Click for a larger version

Then there’s The Sniper. He’s a quiet type, and very good at hitting things from afar. The model is a marksman from Warlord Games’ Pike & Shotte range.

Photo © Warlord Games

The Twins are two British aristocrats, one proficient with a blade and the other with pistols. Obviously they form a deadly duo, perfectly complementing each other’s fighting styles. Much like The Gemini Twins in The Man with the Iron Fists (note: spoilers, if you haven’t seen the film). The miniatures are a privateer and a navy officer from Black Scorpion.

The next one I’ve dubbed The Scholar. Not as physical as some of the other members of the crew, but definitely the brains. He will use his pistols, but that’s not what he’s there for. The mini is another Black Scorpion privateer.

Every crew obviously needs The Veteran. While not as super-elite as some of the others, they’re a tough-as-nails, reliable sort, and have seen more than most. Think Davos Seaworth in Game of Thrones, Sgt. Zim in Starship Troopers, Sgt. Apone in Aliens…and most video game tutorial instructors, you know the type. This is again from Black Scorpion, this time a pirate.

Click for a larger version

A somewhat shadier character, The Unhinged in this case is a redcoat wielding a couple of knives with brass knuckles. I see him as someone who will go to any lengths when fighting pirates, as well as him being possibly the leader’s bodyguard and attack dog. Another mini from 1775 Join or Die, this one called Joe Beckett.

Click for a larger version

Speaking of attack dogs, I have The Beastmaster. Now, fighting dogs aren’t really all that great if you’re at sea, but I love the model and that’s what counts! It’s a mini from Freebooter’s Fate called Tipo Duros. He has two big mastiffs at his command, and mastiffs are the best so there.

Photo © Freebooter Miniatures

Last, but very literally not least, is The Heavy. It’s Jesse Ventura’s Blaine in Predator, The Mountain in Game of Thrones and countless other examples. The hulking, partizan-wielding Zachary Sallow from 1775 Join or Die fits the bill perfectly.

Click for a larger version

There you have it, a group of specialists! I’m happy to add to it in the future, also for some more diversity. To make it both visually and narratively more interesting, I want to bring in some more non-white (as well as non-male) characters, but its something of a challenge to do that without succumbing to some pretty tired stereotypes. You know how it often goes in this genre, there’s that one character whose speciality is “woman”, kind of like in early Dungeons & Dragons Elf and Dwarf were classes, like Wizard or Fighter. The 17th-18th centuries, which I ground my project in, were very much racist and sexist, but there’s really no need to recreate that in miniature, especially as historical accuracy really isn’t at the core of the project.

Comments, suggestions for character types to include etc. welcome as always!

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Uprising at the plantation

May 24, 2020

You probably know I’m not a very active miniature gamer despite all the time I spend on the hobby. My interest lies more in the crafting side of things, but I do like to get a game in every now and then. A week ago Emmi and I had a somewhat rare “nothing planned” weekend. We were discussing playing a boardgame, and I suggested playing a miniature game instead – and much to my surprise, she agreed, on the condition that I do all the setup work and she can just enjoy the game. Deal, obviously.

I wanted to use my pirate minis, and as we’re both very much into history (and social history especially), we wanted an interesting, historically plausible scenario. What we decided on was a plantation slave uprising. I quickly came up with a basic scenario which we then embellished further, adding special rules and so on. The core idea was that the (former) slaves would win if they either managed to set six plantation buildings on fire, or kill or capture the planter, while the planter’s overseers and hired hands tried to subdue the revolt. The planter had two bodyguards, and as one of them happened to be dark skinned, we decided that there was a possibility of him siding with the rebels – but to retain game balance, he was not allowed to shoot the planter or set the planter’s house on fire, due to some remnants of ingrained loyalty to the planter’s family. There was an endless stream of hired hands as they made their way on the table from nearby plantations, making the scenario a race against the clock for the rebels – while they started with a considerable advantage in numbers, eventually they would be overpowered.

We used my regular go-to rules set, Flashing Steel, as it has a tendency to deliver dramatic, cinematic games. Once again, it didn’t disappoint. To avoid disrupting our marital harmony, we cooperatively played both sides, in effect trying to win with both – although to be fair, we had far more sympathy for the rebels.

The game turned out to be wonderfully dramatic! The rebels managed to set five buildings on fire, but the increasing numbers of the planter’s side were grinding them down. The bodyguard did dramatically shift their allegiance, summarily shooting the other bodyguard in the back and killing them. The leader of the rebels was killed by a point blank pistol shot, while one of the female rebels went on a killing spree with her two-handed blade, cutting down three guards one after another. In the end, with the rebellion almost crushed, a lone rebel managed to sneak into the planter’s garden, and gunned down the planter with his musket. The deed done, the remaining few rebels escaped into the night, bloodied but victorious and led by their new leader, the former planter’s bodyguard. To be continued, maybe!

The game was a great opportunity to lay out my new gaming mat from Deep-Cut Studio, a double-sided mat with dark grass on one side and a cobblestone pattern on the other. It was also nice to dig out some of my houses and scatter terrain. Even my own printed pieces made an appearance! For once we remembered to take a bunch of photos, some of which are shown below. Hopefully they convey something of the fun we had. To further boost the atmosphere, we had a nice soundscape from myNoise in the background – I use it for most of my gaming as well as writing – with tropical birds and insects chirping, and tribal drums pounding. I highly recommend stuff like this to boost your gaming experience!

And last but definitely not least, I’m so happy that we got to play a game together. I know that the attitudes of significant others towards our hobby can vary a lot, from enthusiastic co-hobbying through polite interest and recognition to downright dismissive – I’ve personally experienced all of these throughout the years! I’m so lucky to have a wife who is not only willing to spend a long evening playing with toy soldiers, but also to learn the rules and suggest new ones, and participate in scenario design. She was even willing to play another game in the future, reportedly because it was fun, not just to indulge me. I have emphatically decided to believe her.

Now for the photos! You can click any photo for a larger view.

The slave leader Boukman leads his rebels

Rebels pour out into the night

An unarmed rebel takes down one of the guards with his fists

The planter’s bodyguard looks on, moments before getting shot in the back

Another view of the planter and his bodyguards

A rebel makes her way to the stables

In what became known as “Murder Alley”, a guard guns down a rebel – before himself getting shot in the back

Despite a fierce fight, Boukman is killed by one of the guards, another victim of Murder Alley

Two against one, the guards never had a chance

A lone rebel lines up his sights to take out the planter

More and more guards pour in, but too late

With the plantation’s trade goods burning in the background, the fierce rebel takes down another guard

A distressed guard can do nothing – the planter’s dead and the plantation is on fire

Grandma Piku blesses the dice with her jelly beans

 

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I’m a modeller, you know what I mean

May 12, 2020

…when I do my little turn on the catwalk!

With that earworm out of the way, man, time flies by in this weird age. I was sure it was maybe two weeks since my last post, and it turns out it was nearly a month ago! Back on the hobby horse (tee-hee) I say.

Anyway, my involvement with 3d printing stuff goes ever deeper. First I bought a printer, then another. Now I’ve started creating my own models, and I’m super enthusiastic about it!

If you’re a super long time follower of the blog (basically, “if you’re Cheetor“), you’ll know that 15 years back I dabbled in sculpting and even had some minis cast and produced. However, I didn’t really have the patience to get good at it, so it just sort of fell away. Skip forward 15 years, and I’ve found the joy of sculpting again, although this time in a whole new medium.

In the past few weeks I have been learning Zbrush with the kind aid of a friend of mine, the amazingly talented Mati Zander (check out his Shapeways shop for some awesome sculpts). Zbrush is a super powerful professional tool, but let’s just say that the UI isn’t the most intuitive… I’m so happy that I’ve had someone to help me. Anyway, I’ve obviously started simple, creating pieces mainly for my own use in the pirate project. Barrels, crates, that sort of thing. It’s been bumpy at times, but the experience of learning a completely new skill is exhilarating. There’s also something profoundly magical about being able to create something out of nothing and eventually have it in your hand as a physical object! It’s things like this that remind me that we’re very much living in what used to be squarely in the realm of science fiction.

Below are some of the pieces I’ve made:

Click for a larger version

This barrel was my second finished piece. One of the first things I’ve learned is that detail for printing needs to be exaggerated or it will be lost in the printing process. Something that looks wonderful on your screen may turn out soft and featureless once printed. Speaking of which…

Click for a larger version

This bag/canvas basket was my first creation. It looks super nifty on-screen, but most of that lovely surface texture or those stitches don’t really print all that well. It does look decent printed, but it was a good learning experience.

A third piece is another barrel, this one filled with lemons – to ward off scurvy, obviously. I made both the barrel and the lemons. If you pay attention, you can see that this is actually the same barrel as the first one, just with added studs and lemons, and stretched to a new, taller shape.

Click for a larger version

I’ve also painted a couple of the pieces! Shown below are two barrels, printed on the FDM printer. The beauty of pieces like this is obviously that they can be resized to create variation. I’m beyond happy to say that to my eye they look very professional – I wouldn’t mind buying these somewhere. In fact, and not to gloat too much, they’re much nicer than some pieces I’ve actually paid for. They also afford the all-important easy wins, a painted piece is a painted piece.

Click for a larger version

Here are some pieces painted on the resin printer. It allows for much higher quality, and is very useful for the lemons for example. They’ve been glued to a thin sheet of plastic to make a group, and I’ve adjusted the colours to bring out some of the detail.

Click for a larger version

Should you want to print your own, you can download the two barrels from Thingiverse. If you do, then please post some photos once you eventually make and paint them, I’d be thrilled!

As a final note, any ideas on what I should try sculpting? I’m happy to get ideas and suggestions, as it’s all practice at this point.

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From the painting desk #72 – A little bit of everything

April 16, 2020

While I had originally planned to make posts of these minis piecemeal, I figured that it would simply lead to most of them never getting displayed. As a result, this post features a pretty mixed selection of miniatures, but I’m sure that just makes it more entertaining!

Click for a larger version

Up first is a pair of pirates, consisting of a barber surgeon from Black Cat Bases and Esmerelda, a pirate lady from Black Scorpion. While stylistically very different, both were enjoyable to paint and make for nice additions to my pirate crews. I’m especially happy with the surgeon, who I think looks a bit like an annoyed Billy Connolly. As with some other Black Scorpion female minis, I painted the legs to suggest very tight pants instead of the cool pirate lady wearing a loincloth and boots. For some reason I never have to do this with male miniatures, who knew!

Click for a larger version

Onto the monkeys! A fair few miniature manufacturers make monkey miniatures as part of their pirate lines, and I’m happy to collect them. The monkey wearing a bicorne is another Black Scorpion sculpt that I picked up at Salute last year. The monkey sitting on a barrel is another 3d print from Depths of Savage Atoll. As one of my early test prints, the quality isn’t perfect and I already considered throwing the mini way. I didn’t have the heart to do it though, and after a bit of paint I think it turned out fine. Both of these were simple sculpts and easy to paint, and I’m really pleased with the end results. As for how I’ll use them, no idea whatsoever.

Click for a larger version

Rounding out this post are two very characterful pirates. The first one is a custom Hero Forge piece I printed, who I’m calling Smith of Bristol. Now, to anyone not familiar with the Dubliners song of the same name, it tells the story of a daring pirate who goes around a-plunderin’ and a-robbin’, before finally being killed by a Spanish bullet. The twist of the song follows this, with the lines “he was only ninety-seven/but his soul had gone to heaven”, which I’ve always found hilarious. So, long story short, here’s a sprightly old pirate! If you want to listen to the song, I’ve embedded it below.

The second miniature is another one with some story behind him. He’s Tijl Uilenspiegel, an exclusive miniature from the Crisis wargaming show in Antwerp. Originally Tijl, known in English as Till Owlglass, is a 16th (or possibly 15th or even earlier) century trickster figure. As Wikipedia informs us:

Many of Till’s pranks are scatological in nature, and involve tricking people into touching, smelling, or even eating Till’s excrement. Scatological stories abound, beginning with Till’s early childhood (in which he rides behind his father and exposes his rear-end to the townspeople) and persisting until his death bed (where he tricks a priest into soiling his hands with feces).

An excellent character, in other words! While I don’t think my pirate version of him is quite this feces-focused, the sculpt is great. Paul Hicks has sculpted a wonderful expression on the mini, and I tried to reflect this when painting the eyes. I think he does look a bit…trickstery.

While all of these would technically qualify for Ann’s “Paint the crap you already own!” challenge, Tijl Uilenspiegel is the one mini I had in mind when I decided to participate in the challenge. He’s a sad case of “Oooh I really want that, what a cool mini, better let him sit in a box for a year or two” so I’m happy that he’s finished!

With all this painted stuff, I’m at 12/100 for my painting goal of 100 pieces this year. With a third of the year gone – not great, not terrible. Still, with a bunch of easy to paint terrain pieces and the like in the near future, I’m still optimistic!

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From the painting desk #71 – A whale of a time

April 8, 2020

Ok, this is in fact more a case of a whale out of time. I finally finished painting up a wonderfully disgusting whale carcass from the Depths of Savage Atoll Kickstarter. Regular readers might remember that I showed this three-part print back in September. It sat for a long time undercoated on my desk, and as often happens in these cases, once I actually got to painting it, it was a decently quick affair. I tried to play it a bit loose and not get too fiddly – basically just washes, drybrushes and some very rough layering. The carcass looks horrible, but in a good way, I think.

Click for a larger version

Click for a larger version

Click for a larger version

It’s really relaxing to paint large, chunky pieces like this from time to time, it’s so different from the more intricate work required by 28mm or smaller minis. What’s more, painting something that’s supposed to look tatty, dirty and rotten, makes it even easier. It’s a rotting whale carcass, how neat does it need to be?

This will sit on a beach somewhere on Tyburn island, lending the place a quaint, nautical atmosphere. An old whale beached and eaten by scavengers, or a mighty ocean predator crushed by the Kraken? You never know…

I’ve been slowly building up (if not painting) a whole bunch of stuff to wash up on a shore – shipwrecks, half buried and broken barrels, driftwood, that sort of thing. I hope to make a kind of a ship graveyard at some point. This poor whale will fit right in.

In other news, there are no other news. Nothing is happening, I’m spending a lot of time working from home and quite enjoying it to be honest. Wrestlemania 36 was fun, the second season of Kingdom was really fun, season three of Castlevania was fun, the fifth season of Outlander is fun and a rewatch of Godzilla: King of Monsters reminded me that it was still fun, too. Life is not bad, all things considered. Hope you are keeping safe!

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From the painting desk #70 – Fountain

March 28, 2020

A quick piece I finished during an evening of lazy painting. This is a wonderful fountain from the Wightwood Abbey set (available as a freebie on Thingiverse) by Infinite Dimensions Games that I printed on my Lotmaxx SC-10. A simply paintjob of a grey primer followed by a liberal application of washes (Agrax Earthshade, Seraphim Sepia, Athonian Camoshade for the inside walls) and then drybrushed layers of sandy colours up to off-white, then some more mucking about with washes. In pieces like this it’s not usually a very systematic process for me, which I think helps me keep it looking more natural.

Photo of painted miniature fountain

Click for a larger version

I wanted the water look brackish and not too fresh, so went with a VGC Cayman green base and slopped on some lighter tones with plenty of Lahmian medium to help with blending. Once happy with it, I added three thick layers of gloss varnish. It’s not a super fancy water effect, but I like how it turned out!

The fountain was printed at a time when I was still experimenting with FDM printing (to be honest, I still am). While the layer lines aren’t nearly as pronounced as in the windmill I showed earlier, they’re still more visible than in my latest prints. However, I think the piece is perfectly adequate for gaming – especially considering it was free! As you can see from the Black Scorpion mini beside it, it’s a sizable piece.

In other news, I’m looking at getting some gaming mats just for setting up my minis and townscapes. If there’s something good to be said about this whole pandemic thing, it’s that more time at home means more energy for projects and more space for the imagination.

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It rhymes with Ovid

March 15, 2020

So by now you’re very much familiar (hopefully not too intimately) with COVID-19 and the whole coronavirus thing. This is obviously a serious situation, and a very trying time for people who are themselves part of a risk group or have loved ones at risk. For me as a healthy young(ish) person it’s more a case of staying at home to avoid passing the infection around. I’m currently waiting for the surely forthcoming news of Salute 2020 being cancelled, and I assume that our long-awaited holiday trip to London is off the cards too, what with travel bans and all. Things at work have been disappointing too, with several major seminars and conferences cancelled after a lot of work put into them. Of course these are minor issues compared to being afraid for your life, but it doesn’t really help.

Despite all the risk, there are some things that are making things more palatable: both of us working from home currently means a lot more family time, and cancelled kung fu, yoga and dance classes mean plenty more free evenings. We don’t have kids, so family time is very relaxing. The cats are happy that we’re home all the time, too.

On the hobby front more free time obviously means more time for everything fun-without-leaving-the-house. Personally, I’m looking forward to doing a lot more painting than usual, tackling my Steam backlog of unplayed digital games (I started with Yes, Your Grace yesterday, highly recommended!) and shortening my reading queue too. Might as well make the most of this sudden influx of time! I have a few recently finished Black Scorpion miniatures that I’ll post about soon.

Despite the global hardships, I can’t shake a feeling of a kind of fascination with the situation. Yes, it is a catastrophe in many ways, and I definitely don’t want to make light of it. But as I wrote in literally the first post of this blog, back in 2009:

I’ve always been fascinated (in a very sanerational and normal sense) by catastrophes, what-if fantasies, tales of desperate struggle and the end of the world. The sinking of Titanic, alternative history, Helm’s deep, Alamo, Chernobyl,  The Book of Revelation, global epidemics, thermonuclear war…you name it. The zombie genre combines all of this. Simple as that.

Obviously and luckily this isn’t the apocalypse and make no mistake – I hope we clear this thing as quickly as possible with as little tragedy as possible. There’s still something oddly unreal about this situation and watching it develop. It’s not fun, it’s not cool, but it’s interesting.

I don’t usually discuss topical, non-hobby events on the blog, and don’t really intend to. However, during the past years a wonderful micro community has sprung up around miniature blogging, and I’m frankly quite interested in how you lot are doing in your corner of the world. Stay safe, and keep painting and posting hobby stuff, we all need the entertainment!

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From the painting desk #69 – A Scot and a Spaniard

March 1, 2020

Two more painted miniatures join the populace of Tyburn Island, both on the more lawful side of things. First up is a Scottish sailor from Galloping Major. As part of my new year’s plans to push myself a bit more in terms of painting technique, I decided to try my hand at painting tartan. As I’ve mentioned before, I have a strong dislike to freehand painting, which I’m consciously trying to get over. Tartan seemed like a good thing to try.

Click for a larger version

Click for a larger version

Some tutorials, some painting, some repainting, some trial and some error later I was surprised to have something I’m quite proud of! It looks like a tartan pattern to me and that’s what I was going for, so I’ll put this in the success column. Overall this was another fun mini to paint. Galloping Major miniatures are clean and pretty bulky, which makes them very painter friendly. I have a full set of 18th century sailors and I’m looking forward to painting up some more of them.

Click for a larger version

Click for a larger version

The second model I painted was a printed one from a file by 3DBreed Miniatures. A freebie from their 1775 Join or Die Kickstarter (which I backed), it’s a rendition of Bernardo de Gálvez, a Spanish military leader from the latter half of the 18th century. The print came out wonderfully on my Photon, and I’m happy with the paintjob as well. I went with quite bright and clean colours – he’ll be a wonderful officer, gentleman or a rich merchant captain. I have a bunch of lovely STL files from the Kickstarter, and I’m looking forward to printing more of them!

As usual, I feel like I’m struggling terribly with my photography. Not sure if I’m lighting up my minis too harshly, showing them in too large close-ups or what, but in the photos they look like they’ve been painted with fingerpaints. Le sigh.

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